da bwin： During his career, Kevin Pietersen came up with unforgettable lines at every opportunity, from press conferences and his Twitter feed to his colourful, revelatory autobiography. Here is a selection of some of his most memorable quotes
da betcris： ESPNcricinfo staff18-Mar-2018 Rick Broadbent to quip that he was “as subtle as colonic irrigation”. KP has uttered, and been the subject of, so many memorable lines that it could be a sub-genre on our Quote Unquote section. Here is a selection of his most unforgettable quotes.
“I’ve seen 5-0 a few times before…it’s not the end of the world, Brazil!”
“I might as well have been speaking to the vicar about gangsta rap.”
“It was as if he still writes to Santa Claus and puts a tooth under his pillow for the tooth fairy.”
“It’s a Catch-21 situation.”
“You are not God, you are a cricketer, and I’m a better one.”
“I had to ask if he was a batter or a bowler – I didn’t really know who he was.”
“He’s a nice guy but like a human triple espresso – so intense.”
’twas not always thus between Graeme Smith and Kevin Pietersen•Gallo Images
“You’ve got Brett Lee running in at quarter to ten at night with the second new ball. I mean, it’s just stupid.”
“And my tip to all bowlers – learn to bat! Bowling is for mugs.”
“It’s tough being me.”
“I don’t talk to Smith now. It’s a waste of breath, because I don’t have any respect for him.”
“You’ve got world-class players who are sitting in England now wanting to play the IPL when you’ve got some second-rate Australians getting gigs here.”
Marcus Trescothick and Kevin Pietersen on the England team parade after winning the Ashes•Tom Shaw/Getty Images
“I’m not interested in what he has to say. Who is he? He’s a nobody.”
“Some days they’ve got rain around and they’ve got to deal with the time and talk and talk and talk and talk.”
“As a kid I always wanted to be the best, to win everything at school… Even now when I am driving, I don’t like losing to people at the lights.”
Kevin Pietersen watches his switch-hit go to the boundary•Getty Images
“I must say, I’m very impressed with that Mr Pietersen. His life story is like Henry IV, V and VI all rolled into one.”
“Contagiously sour. Infectiously dour. He could walk into a room and suck all the joy out of it in five seconds. Just a Mood Hoover. That’s how I came to think of him.”
“If we do everything we said in our team meeting, I’ll be smoking a cigar at mid-off.”
“‘I was thinking about doing that in bed last night’, so the visualisation was there.”
“Look, it’s your nation, not mine.”
“The only real weakness he has shown so far in his England career is an ability to come up with some ridiculously stupid comments, which have added great value to the dressing room.”
“I’m not very good at Twenty20 cricket, am I?”